The death of the “lion” of Baghdad has so affected Osama bin Laden, that he is writing poetry to the [not-so-]dearly departed.
In the tape, bin Laden effusively praised the Jordanian-born al-Zarqawi, often in rhyming couplets.
“Al-Zarqawi’s story will live forever with the stories of the nobles, so don’t cry over one who is not missing,” bin Laden said. “He can teach the world a lesson on how to seize freedom … and how to resist tyrants.”
And he can also teach the world to sing! In rhyming couplets!
But you never get the full story from the mainstream media. It takes bloggers to dig out the rest of the facts. We here at yourish.com can offer our readers the exclusive first drafts of the rhyming couplets. The ones that didn’t make the cut. I think you’ll understand why as you read them.
Abu, Abu
I really miss you
Roses are red, violets are blue
Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, I really miss you
There once was a man named Zarqawi
Who fought the infidels, and how-ee!
Wake up, Abu, I think I got something to say to you
It’s almost summer and the kufir may be getting you soon
Oh holy warrior, who chopped kufir head so well
Osama thinks you’re really, really swell!
al-Zarqawi, my sweet Abu,
I wish I could quit you
Just like that kufir Celine Dion
I have to say “My heart will go on.”
(But it really won’t.)
Regarding the poor quality of the above rhyming couplets, I am inclined to believe that Iseema bin Laden is ghostwriting Osama’s speeches these days. I’m going to see if I can’t check with my sources to see if I can perhaps get Iseema to admit it.
On the other hand, if anyone out there thinks s/he can do better, feel free to leave more Osama love poetry in the comments. No graphic sexual content, please. This is a family-oriented site.
Not that I think I can do it better, but I’m in the mood to have some fun:
Here’s another before I sign off for Shabbat:
There once was a guy named Zarqawi,
Who beheaded people who were not Iraqi,
Stop! Stop! the Americans would shout, as the fool continued to flout,
There once was a guy named Zarqawi…
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