I know you are, but what am I?

The AP is entertaining us with some back-and-forth verbal volleys between the leaders of Qatar and Iran.

Arab diplomats said the emir – a U.S. ally – went to Iran this week on a delicate, diplomatic mission and with a private message: President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad needed to cool his rhetoric and cooperate with the international community.

The hard-line Iranian leader showed his distaste for the message in a goodbye ceremony – pointedly reported Wednesday by Tehran radio – with a hard jab, suggesting the Qatari leader was a Western lackey.

Iran takes pride that the Gulf is widely known by the country’s ancient name, Persia, but Arabs bridle. They are eager to point out that six Arab countries but only one Persian land border the strategically important sea through which much of the world’s oil supply must pass.

Attempting diplomatic niceties as he was saying goodbye, the emir, Sheik Hamad bin-Khalifa al-Thani, congratulated his host on Iran’s fine soccer team and said he hoped it would bring pride to all the “Arab Persian Gulf” region during the 2006 World Cup in Germany.

Not missing a beat, Ahmadinejad shot back:

“I believe you called it the Persian Gulf when you studied in school,” he said in a pointed reference to the emir’s education at Sandhurst Military Academy in England, once the colonial ruler of much of the Arab world.

Seemingly unfazed, the emir fired Monday’s final volley: “By the way, the Gulf belongs to all.”

If you read the rest of the story, you will find a much deeper, more informative piece about Arab fears of a nuclear-armed Iran. But the AP chose to lead with the above. Still, I’d have paid money to see it. Okay, no, not really. But I’d pay money to have someone deliver some of my insults to Gorilla Boy.

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