How dry I am

Yesterday was the annual Teacher Appreciation Dinner at my synagogue. Yesterday was also the day I came down with a stomach thing. Bug, virus, whatever. I ate nothing for lunch, and debated not even going to the dinner, but I really like the congregational dinners, and, well, it was partly in my honor, so I went. We have a seder for all congregational dinners, and right after kiddush, my stomach stopped hurting. Which encouraged me to eat. It was fairly harmless stuff: Chicken, rice, pasta, green beans. I skipped dessert. Got through services with a mild tummyache, ate a couple of bites of dessert at the Oneg (refreshments after the service), and then — and then — it hit.

I went home, went to bed, and spent the night extremely uncomfortably, up and down every couple of hours. I should not have eaten. Boy, should I not have eaten. No worries, though, because I think I’ve discovered the stomach virus diet. I assure you, I have gained almost zero caloric benefit from anything that I ate yesterday. There was nothing left in my stomach or digestive system by morning.

When I finally got up around noon, I was dehydrated and wary of putting anything in my stomach, but I discovered I had some Gatorade in the fridge. I poured myself a glass and got about half of it down. Felt okay. Had a few more sips, and then noticed an odd texture to the Gatorade.

I don’t know how long it’s been in my fridge. I didn’t check the date before I drank it. But there was, ew, some kind of blob in the glass. Pink, like the Gatorade. I didn’t drink it, but ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. I almost swallowed a Gatorade blob. Of course, it could have been mold, but it was pink.

I don’t want to know what it was. I think I don’t want to keep Gatorade in the fridge that long again, either. The sell-by date was October. 2005.

Or maybe I don’t need to rehydrate with anything stronger than water in cases like this. There’s never been anything funky in any water I’ve ever drunk.

Certainly there were never any blobs in the water.

Ew.