The battle of the bacteria: Midway

I have now finished eight full days of the Prevpack, which means, let’s see… 3,000 mg per day of antibiotics, 9.5 packages of Florastor at 5 billion cells per package (give or take 50 or 60 million that got stuck on the sides of the glass), and 30 mg of Prevacid before swallowing any of the antibiotics.

I think that although the probiotics are definitely working, the antibiotics have effectively deforested my innards. Think of it having my good bacteria napalmed along with the filthy, Communist H. pylorii. Sure, I can keep on putting it back in, but the antibiotics are taking it out fairly quickly. Heidi has accused me of being a mass murderer. She says I am not excused for ingesting the Florastor, in fact, I am causing the death of billions more Saccharomyces boulardii, because after I take the Florastor, I’m still taking the antibiotics.

You know, I really think that when your best friend is accusing you of being a Saccharomyces boulardii mass-murderer, she shouldn’t be grinning with enjoyment. I suppose I could utterly turn the tables on her, what with her being a nurse, so she has to have been involved in destroying gazillions of bacteria cells, what with having to keep patients clean and all that.

What, only the good cells count?

Anyway, I found it astonishing that I spent nearly an hour on the internet and the phone before I finally found the Florastor for grownups (a capsule! Hurray!), and I wound up having to wait until the drops in my eyes cleared a bit. You should see my pupils. They look like I dropped three or four hits of LSD. That’s because I had an eye exam today and had the full glaucoma test. My mother had it in both eyes, and even though the pattern is mother to son, I think it’s wise to be tested. But I don’t think it’s wise to drive the length of Midlothian Turnpike (which faces west) while your eyes are so dilated as to make a traffic stop cause for a blood test.

In any case. The big Ukrops had what I needed, and tonight, I will not have to drop a packet into a glass of juice and try to get it down without breathing. For the last two mornings, I put the Florastor in the last of my milk. It turned it sour. Immediately. I’m not joking. I have chocolate milk in the morning (old habit that I’ve never changed), and it made it sour. Over the chocolate. Ew. Nate was so right. The powder is nasty.

So. I got my eyes examined, got a new prescription, ordered new lenses with clip-on sunglasses, and will be looking mighty cool in about a week and a half. Which is not to say that I don’t already look mighty cool. I do. But these are cool new glasses, and I like the way they look. Oooh! By the time I have them, I’ll have the hard top off my Jeep, too. Now that is coolness. Riding top-down in the summer again.

I wonder when the doctor is going to want to take another blood test to see if we’ve defeated H. pylorii. I kinda want to know ASAP. Then again, I’d be really unhappy if we lose this battle.

All right, troops! Your future eating french fries depends on winning the war! Now GO GET THAT H. PYLORII, and don’t come back until it’s dead!

There. That ought to do it.

Yeah, I’m a bit off tonight. Must be the eye drugs.