This one’s from before she got sick. She is a happy kitty, snuggled into her tissue-paper nest on the sofa.
She got through the surgery fine and may be coming home tomorrow. I am washing a blanket that I intend to use to create a “nest” for her in the guest room. She won’t like being shut in that much, but I need to keep Tig away from her. This weekend is another of my former students’ B’nai Mitzvah, this time the twins. They did wonderfully tonight.
Tomorrow, if Gracie is coming home, I have to get up, shower, dress in jeans, pick up Gracie, come home, set her up in the spare room, eat breakfast, change into good clothes, go to B’nai Mitzvah. Come home for a few hours, go to party for a few hours. Come home early.
Thanks again to those of you who are hitting the tipjars. You’ve helped me cover nearly half of the bill so far, and it’s been a HUGE help.
The job interview went well, but I don’t think I have enough marketing clips to get much further. However, there’s another job that I think I can qualify for a bit better, so I’ll be pursuing that next week.
In the meantime, elephant jokes would be most appreciated.
I love elephant jokes. I have always loved elephant jokes, and since I have never been able to remember jokes, I never get tired of them. Plus, I can hear the same one a milliion times and still laugh. So if you have any elephant jokes, I’d appreciate reading a few. Rahel gave me a bunch of Israeli elephant jokes last time around (it’s in the archives somewhere; too tired to search).
Elephant jokes would be a good thing for my state of mind right now. I’m going to put the blanket in the dryer and head to bed.
Update Saturday morning: She’s alert and awake, interested in her food, and hitting the litterbox, but the vet says she’s oozing from the suture wound, mostly serum. Lovely. Gracie’s staying the weekend. I keep on insisting they make sure she has enough painkillers, but they’re always on top of that, at least. I also left them a couple of her tuna Fancy Feast cans, and told them to try putting a little on a spoon and seeing if Gracie would eat it that way. I have spoiled her a bit, because I think it’s more important now that she eat and not lose any more weight, so I’ve been literally spoon-feeding her to get her started, or to keep her going. I wonder if perhaps it hurts her to bend down, because she eats plenty when I feed it to her on a spoon, less when I leave it in the bowl.
If the wound stops by Monday, I’ll bring her home, I presume.
Here’s an elephant joke from my cousin in North Carolina:
Question: How does a male elephant find a female elephant in the tall grass?
Answer: Delightful!
{{virtual hugs and skritches for Gracie!}}
Get well soon Gracie !!
Well, not quite on point but: what’ syellow and very dangerous? Shark-infested custard.
Why did the mouse marry the elephant? He had to.
Old standard: a class of students from different countries was assigned to write an essay about elephants. The German student wrote “An Introduction to the Philology for the Higher Study of the Elephant.” The American student wrote “Breeding Bigger and Better Elephants.” The English student wrote: “Class and Hierarchy Among Elephants.” The French student wrote “The Love Life of the Elephant.” And the Jewish student wrote “The Elephant and the Jewish Problem.”
Q – Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A – So they can hide in cherry trees.
Q – Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
A – See how well it works?
Tuna rules!
I goofed on that red toenail joke. There’s supposed to be an answer of, “Of course not,” just prior to the last line. Sorry.
I’m glad Gracie did ok with her surgery! So sorry she couldn’t come home yet, though. Prayers and purrs (from the kitties here) are going out for her all the time.
~~ Robyn
We know you must miss Gracie somefing awful, and we’re sending you all a steady stream of good thoughts and purayers. In the meantime, I hopes you likes these…
____
Q: Why do elephants wear blue tennis shoes?
A: Because the white ones always get dirty.
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Q: How do you get three elephants in a taxi?
A: One in the front next to the driver, and two in the back.
___
Q: How do you know there is an elephant in your house?
A: There’s a taxi outside with two impatient elephants.
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How do you get an elephant into the refrigerator?
Open the door, put in the elephant, close the door.
____
How do you get two elephants in the refrigerator?
Open the door, put in the first elephant, then put in the second elephant, then close the door.
___
Thinking of you and hoping this helps…
Two dogs were walking along the road. One dog stopped and said: “My name is Fido. What’s yours?
The other dog thought for a minute, and then replied: “I think it’s Down Boy.”
How can you tell if an elephant has been sleeping in your bed?
The bed smells of peanuts and the sheets are wrinkled.
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
The elephant jokes are great! But the best news is Gracie.
Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they’ve no pockets to put things in!
Zoo Keeper:”I’ve lost one of my elephants”
Other Zoo Keeper:”Why don’t you put an advert in the paper?”
Zoo Keeper:”Don’t be silly, he can’t read!”
Meryl, here they are.
Hugs and skritches to Gracie and to Tig as well.
Why did the prairie dog cross the road?
He wanted to play chicken with the oncoming cars.
And yes, I laughed at every single joke, even the ones I already knew.
You can never go wrong telling me an elephant joke.
A person (nonJewish) o course goes into a restaurant that advertises a $100 if the customer asks for something they cannot provide. The customer asks for an elephant sandwich. After a long wait the waiter hands him the $100.
“Couldn’t do it” he says.
“Sorry sir, the cook refuses to make a 6 ton bun.”
Alternate punchline.
“Sorry sir, the cook refuses to start another elephant for just one sandwich”.
It’s a rainy, blustery day in Jerusalem. So:
Q. What’s gray and dripping wet?
A. An elephant who forgot her umbrella.
Q. What’s gray and making money hand over fist?
A. An elephant selling umbrellas on a streetcorner.
Q. What’s gray and fighting to stay on the ground?
A. The dripping-wet elephant with her new umbrella. The wind just picked up.
Q. What’s gray and moves very, very carefully?
A. An elephant doing bikkur holim for Gracie at the vet’s.
(Bikkur holim is the Jewish principle of visiting those who are ill.)
Q. What’s gray and has orange cat hairs on her trunk?
A. The same elephant. She’s visiting Meryl to say hi, give Tig a bellyrub and tell more elephant jokes.
Still praying for Gracie. I hope she does well and you can bring her home soon — in perfect shape. I’ll be praying for that.
Due to your “Keep it civil” policy my elephant jokes will have to wait ’til you visit N. Virginia again. Love and Hugs to Gracie.