The Hulktator

Omri writes about the next step towards gamma ray lasers.

You know what this means, don’t you?

We’re that much closer to the creation of the Hulk.

I’m happy to volunteer myself for the Hulk experiments. I’ve always wanted to get stronger as I get angrier. Because I can get very, very angry.

Science is now one step closer to my dream of being dictator of the world.

If I were the dictator of the world… the mad mullahs would be very, very, VERY unhappy. And if I were the Hulktator of the world: They’d be splotches on the pavement of Qom.

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15 Responses to The Hulktator

  1. Bob says:

    My luck, my superpower would be really bad bread.

  2. Omri Ceren says:

    The sweet thing about anger is that it also makes you smarter. Truth –

    http://www.iconindexsymbol.com/2007/10/anger_helps_you_think.html

  3. So Bob, I’m thinking you meant “bad breath.” Or would you really want the power to make bread moldy?

    That would go with the whole green motif.

  4. Omri, I already knew that. Go check out my best posts.

    People don’t like me when I’m angry.

  5. Bob says:

    Well, yes, “bad breath” would make more sense, wouldn’t it now?

  6. Yes, but if you had the “bad bread” power, you’d qualify for the Legion of Substitute Heroes.

    Actually, some of the subs had some pretty awesome powers. Especially considering theat effing Matter-Eater Lad was a Legionnaire. That’s right. His power was that he could eat anything. Hoo-boy, watch out! That guy’s gonna eat your shorts! (Or something.)

    They had a guy with freeze powers in the Subs, and M-E Lad was in the Legion. Man, the fifties were among the suckiest years for comics.

  7. Lil Mamzer says:

    Meryl, I was laughing out loud at your comment, thinking you were making it up. “Matter Eater Lad”? Shyeah, right….

    I was wrong.
    ————————–

    * In an episode of the Legion of Super Heroes animated series, Matter-Eater Lad appears (in his civilian identity as Tenzil Kem) as a participant in the Intergalactic Games, an Olympics-like event in which Lightning Lad also competes. When the Fatal Five attack the Games, Kem, along with Jo Nah of Rimbor, helps the Legion defeat them, at one point eating through the handle of the Persuader’s Atomic Axe. He does not have a speaking part in the episode.

    * He reappears in the episode The Substitutes, where he tries out for the Legion as Matter-Eater Lad and gains membership. He distinguishes himself by calmly eating an ionosphere-eating monster without a worry – and notes it tasted like chicken. In addition, he appears in the first season finale, Sundown, helping to stop the Sun Eater. He is voiced by Alexander Polinsky

    * He returns in the season two premier, taking a bite out of Emerald Empress’ magical eye, puting him into a coma.

    * In the Amalgam Comics universe, Matter-Eater Lad is combined with with Paste Pot Pete to create Paste-Eater Pete.

  8. Lil Mamzer says:

    Above quoted from Wikipedia.

    Paste Eater Pete reminds me of several kids I knew from kindergarten…………………..

  9. Mamzer, comics of the 1950s and 1960s are hilarious. And I say this as a person who grew up on them and loved them.

    One of the reasons Marvel and Stan Lee resonated so well when they came on the scene is because they tried to make their characters a bit more realistic. Peter Parker, Spider-Man, had actual problems in school. He had an aunt who worried about him. And while Marvel had its share of stupid superheroes and villains, most Marvel stories made a lot more sense than DC stories.

    Do you know why Lex Luthor hated Superman? In the origin story, Superboy blew out a fire in Lex’s lab. The chemicals combined to make Lex bald.

    Yes, really.

    That’s why Lex hated Superman, at least originally. The story has since been revised.

    This site has tons of funny commentary on comic books, if you want to spend a few hours laughing. You have been warned.

  10. The Doctor says:

    In at least one version, Luthor had created life in his lab; this was destroyed in the fire that Soupy blew out and Lex blamed him for this more than for the Captain Picard look…

    In addition, if Meryl had Hulkinator powers, would Hulk smash puny Constitution? Just wondering…

  11. The first origin is the one I was quoting, as far as I know.

    Doc, you just don’t get the concept of dictatorship, do you? I mean, really. Dictator. Not president. Dictator. Ultimate power. Me. The teacher’s comment file would read “Does not work well and play with others.”

  12. The Doctor says:

    If it means that Hulk will smash puny Presidential candidates before they can take up precious TV time better used for new series starring Hulk’s friend Syler all the better…

  13. The Doctor says:

    I would vote for Hulk if Hulk would guarrantee Syler gets own show on Food Network…

  14. Lil Mamzer says:

    Holy Butt-Stroking, Meryl, I mean, Hulktator! Whoops! Almost had a boner!

    Those websites are frickin’ funny.

    Thanks again.

    Who knew the Hulktator would be so comedically benevolent????

  15. Michael Lonie says:

    That claim that angry people think better is disproved by observation. Arabs and Muslims always seem to be angry about something, and they don’t seem to think better for it. Most of the time when they’re angry it does not seem that they are thinking at all.

    On the other hand, Admiral Ernie King’s daughter claimed that her father was the most even tempered man she had ever known; he was always angry.

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