I love elephant jokes, as I’ve said before.
Anyone have any new ones? Or at least, ones that haven’t been posted in the comments here before?
The Catmage Chronicles
Andy thought he was going crazy when a talking cat showed up at his front door. He couldn’t have been more wrong.Goldeneyes is a Catmage – a cat with human intelligence and magical abilities. Andy is an eighth grader who is smart, impulsive, and trying to avoid the school bully at all costs. A prophecy threw them together. There’s just one problem: Goldeneyes can’t stand humans.The Catmage world is heading toward war. Goldeneyes and Andy must try to stop the enemy from getting stronger. And they must save a powerful Catmage who’s been kidnapped. For Goldeneyes, it’s personal. That Catmage is her grandmother.Andy and Goldeneyes must try to put aside their differences. If they can’t, the enemy will soon be too powerful to defeat…
Q. Where does a 15,000 pound bull elephant sit?
A. Anywhere it wants to.
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Q. Why did the elephant wear blue sneakers?
A. Because its red ones were in the wash.
(This segues into one you already have, sort of – “Why did the elephant wear red sneakers? To hide in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No. See how good it works!”)
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Q. How do you know there’s an elephant in the refrigerator?
A. The door won’t close.
(Again – you have a variation of the followup – “How do you know when an elephant has been in your refrigerator? Footprints in the butter.”)
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My personal favorite is still the one about “Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.”
No, no, no – they don’t wear red sneakers to hide in strawberry patches.
To hide in strawberry patches, they wear red nail polish.
Laura SF, you may remember that there’s a duck joke that shoul prefix that flat-footed-elephant joke.
It goes:
Q. Why do ducks have flat feet?
A. From stomping out forest fires.
And then comes:
Q. Why do elephants habe flat feet?
A. “From stomping out flaming ducks.
Q. What’s gray with orange on top?
A. An elephant giving Tig a ride.
Q. What’s gray and smiling ecstatically?
A. An elephant rubbing Gracie’s tummy.
What’s Grey and lumpy?
Cream of Elephant Soup.
Grey and lumpy? Hey you – some of my best friends are elephants!
No, they don’t paint their toenails red to hide in strawberry patches. They do it to hide in cherry trees.
Actually they paint their toenails all different colors to hide in M & M bags.
Q: What’s red and white on the outside, grey and white on the inside?
A: A can of Campbell’s Cream of Elephant Soup.
Huh – I didn’t see these in the previous comments:
Q: How do you fit six elephants in a Volkswagen?
A: Three in the front, three in the back
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Q: How do you kill a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun
Q: How do you kill a red elephant
A: There’s no such thing as a red elephant gun, so…
Make the elephant hold his breath until he’s blue, then shoot him with the blue elephant gun.
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… not purely an elephant joke, but…
Q: How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
A: Open the door, put in the giraffe, close the door
Q: How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
A: Open the door, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant, and close the door
Q: The Lion King was having an animal conference. All the animals attended except one. Which one?
A: The elephant – he’s in the refrigerator
Q: You have to ford a stream which is known to be inhabited by crocodiles. How can you cross safely?
A: Just wade the stream. The crocodiles are at the animal conference.
Q: Why should you never enter the jungle between 2 and 3 pm ?.
A: Because the elephants are jumping.
Q: Why are pygmies so short ?.
A: They enter the jungle between 2 and 3 pm.
Q: What is between the toes of fast running elephants ?.
A: Slow running natives.