Hulk smash election!

This post was originally published on September 7, 2004.

As my regular readers know, the Hulk makes appearances on this blog from time to time. During my time off, I had the opportunity to discuss the election with him. Our conversation went something like this:

Pass the sunblock, Hulk.
Why girl need to put goo on skin? Hulk never need goo on skin, look at Hulk. Green as can be!
We’ve been over this before, Hulk. I’m merely human.
Bah. Girl puny human.
Fine. I’m a puny human. Puny humans need sunblock.
Girl want Hulk to put goo on back?
No! Er, no, Hulk. Last time you tried I wound up half a mile in the ocean.
Bah. Hulk got girl out before shark eat her.
You know, Hulk, sometimes you’re—
[Cue: airplane flying up coast, bearing a “Vote Kerry/Edwards!” banner]
What plane say?
They want us to vote for John Kerry in the election.
What election?
An election is how we get our leaders.
Leader! Hulk hate Leader! Leader very bad. Try to kill Hulk many times with squishy men. Hulk can’t punch squishy men.
No, not the Leader. Our leaders. Like the president.
Who president?
Bush. Our president is Bush.
President is bush? HAHAHAHAHA! Puny humans led by plant!
[sigh] No, Hulk. The president’s name is Bush.
That stupid name.
No argument here.
Why plane want different leader than Bush?
That’s what we do. Every four years, we have two people run against each other to see who will be our leader.
They run into each other? Hulk like that!
No, um, they go around the country and make speeches and try to get us to vote for them.
Speeches? Bah. Talk, talk, talk. Hulk bored with talk. Hulk like to smash. Leaders smash?
Well, we are at war. So you could say that some of our leaders smash.
This Kerry smash?
No. He doesn’t want us to be at war. He’d stop us from smashing—er, fighting in Iraq.
Do Bush smash?
Bush is the one who sent us into Iraq, so yes, Bush smash.
Bush smash. What Kerry do?
Well, he talks. Rather a lot, come to think of it.
Bah. Talk, talk, talk. Puny humans talk too much. Hulk tired of talking. Hulk want to smash. Hulk like to smash. Hulk vote for Bush. Bush smash! Hulk smash! Hulk is the strongest one there is!
Okay, Strongest. Let’s stop talking and get some Italian ices.
Girl put money away. Hulk get this one.

If you suggest topics in the comments, the Hulk may come back more frequently.