Sunday snarky briefs

Palestinian ERA watch: Hamastan continues apace, with the latest being a ruling by a Gaza judge insisting that women lawyers all wear hijabs. But remember, they’re doing it voluntarily, and it’s an empowering thing. There is no compulsion under Islam.

Sing Hallelujah for me, Lennie. Or: If at first you don’t succeed, try to force someone to accede to your point of view. The same jackasses who forced the cancellation of Leonard Cohen’s (mostly symbolic) concert in Ramallah are protesting his concert in Ireland. Why? Because they want him not to play in Israel. Once again, I must point out to these morons that a) Cohen is Jewish and b) Cohen is religious. Rotsa ruck, rokers. You’ll need it.

Settlement near on settlements? Really, there’s going to be a settlement on the settlement issue. (Why, yes, I like typing that phrase a lot. Settlement on settlements! Settlement on settlements!) Apparently, the Obama administration has wised up to the fact that if they’ve lost the Israeli left on Jerusalem, they really are taking the anti-Israel position. So there is some kind of freeze being negotiated that will not include “natural growth.” We’ll see how this goes.

Hi, my name is America, and I’m a terrorholic. Seriously? I mean, seriously? George Mitchell says the U.S. wants Syria’s help in solving the Palestinian-Israel problem? Because, it’s not like he doesn’t financially and materially support Israel’s enemies, so once again, I must ask: Seriously? This effer is responsible for the deaths of Americans in Iraq, the deaths of Americans in Israel by proxy via terror groups, and the deaths of Israelis all around. And Mitchell wants his help in making peace? Seriously?

That’s funny, I thought Hamas couldn’t control the rocketeers: The New York Times publishes an article profiling Hamas’ change from rockets to PR initiatives (see? They’re just like us!) and manages to prove, yet again, that Hamas controls utterly the firing of rockets and mortars from the Gaza Strip. But the next time there is a rocket attack and Israeli retaliates, watch for the Times to buy into the bullshit that it was a “rogue group” that fired the rockets. P.S.: They’re not fooling anyone. But everyone will pretend they are, since it’s always Israel’s fault.

Libya wants Lockerbie bomber freed on humanitarian grounds: See, here’s how it is. The poor terrorist is dying, so the fact that he murdered 259 people shouldn’t be taken into account as you consider his release from prison to die at home with his family. Because that’s how all 259 people died, right? Well, the ones on the ground, anyway. I have a suggestion. Free the bomber only if Muammar Ghadafi takes his place.

Well, that’ll piss off the left: 50 million Christians support Israel? Wow, that’s a lot. I can name one in particular that doesn’t (why yes, that means you, Jimmah Carter), and a few more like PCUSA’s leadership, but all in all, I think it makes a lot of sense for Christians to support Israel. Hello, parent religion here. (But you can’t call me Mom.) Just remember one thing, my Christian friends: Try to convert Jews and you’re grounded. (Everyone else is fair game.)

And I’m off to the gym.