Tuesday Snark News Briefs

Britain’s FM: Hey, terrorism can be useful sometimes! He was talking about South Africa, not the U.K., so it must be okay, right? (And of course, he probably doesn’t shed a tear for any Jews killed in terrorist attacks. What do you expect from a guy who’s father was a Marxist?

Netanyahu caves: There is a freeze on all new settlement construction. Oh, and the reason he’s freezing construction? He’s hoping to get Europe and America to recognize Israeli sovereignty over Jerusalem. Because they’ve all indicated that that’s what they want to see happen, right? Epic fail, Bibi. Epic fail.

Time for the latest round of Iranian running out the clock: Iran says it’s ready for nuclear negotiations without preconditions. I think this makes the tenth or eleventh time they’ve said they’d talk about their nukes with the west. But this time, they really mean it. Honest. You betcha! (And watch the Obama spin machine on this one. It should be a laff-riot.)

Death at Disney World! Here’s news you almost never see: Three workers have died at Disney World so far this year. Wow, the Disney PR flacks have really dwindled in talent. Oh, wait—three people died at Disney world so far this year? And this is the first you’re hearing about it? I stand corrected. (Actually, I read about the monorail crash. But I really have no desire to visit Disney World ever again. Crowds. Ugh.)

But the stimulus is working! Eric Cantor sponsored a job fair in my neck of the woods yesterday. The Times-Dispatch says more than 2,000 people showed. Cantor’s office says it was 3,200. I’m not at all surprised. We lost Circuit City, had massive layoffs at places like Capital One and Genworth, and are also affected by the overall dreadful economy.

Dancing with the exterminator: Ew. Tom Delay is going to be on “Dancing with the Stars.” Mind you, I’ve never really cared for the show, watched it for, at best, a minute at a time, and don’t care at all about the show. But ew—Tom Delay? Tom “the Exterminator” Delay? Now that’s reaching. And a little bit gross. (I don’t care how far to the center I move, I will always loathe Tom Delay.)