On my way into my fitness club, the woman behind the desk asked me “What was the worst present you ever got?” It took only a second to refer to the $16 gift certificate for a CD from the music store that was on the way from my boyfriend’s house to mine. (Yes, he really did give me a gift certificate for exactly the price of one CD in 1989. And yes, women really do remember these things for a long, long time.)
Her manager, a man, was utterly astonished, but not by the stories. He could not get over that it took most women only a second to answer the question. He kept saying he wanted to get a stopwatch and time women as they answered the question. However, a few of the older women didn’t have a “worst gift” story at all, so we decided that it started with us selfish baby boomers and continued through the next generations.
In any case, what was the worst gift you ever received, ladies? And was it from a man? Guys, do you even have a worst-gift story? (The guys behind the counter said they couldn’t even think of one.) Worst gifts I heard were: A mop bucket, a ferret cage for a one-year anniversary(!), and dishtowels. I think they rather beat my CD gift certificate.
I once gave a girlfriend an axe. A big axe, with a plastic handle that was her favorite color. The following year, I gave her a matching sledge hammer. I think it was Valentine’s Day, but might have been her birthday.
Of course, she had a fireplace, and I used those gifts to split wood for her. And I gave her other gifts. But that was my big romantic gesture — an axe and a hammer. (Oh, and a wood-splitting wedge, but that wasn’t color-coordinated.)
J.
The worst gift was in 1975 from my then boyfriend (may he continue to rot in hell).
He took me out to dinner to a nice little Italian restaurant. Turns out he had a buy one get one free coupon.
And the beautiful bracelet he so proudly gave me from his “hard-earned” pay, was from his sister since she was going into a convent and was giving away her worldly possessions.
The truly worst part of the “gift”, he paid for dinner with twenty dollars he had stolen from my purse.
Um, twisting it slightly, worst gift i ever gave.. . . that would be, well, you see, the wife likes wooden objects. Toys and statues and whatnot. And not knowing any better, I guess, for Mother’s Day one year i purchased a lovely wooden children’s toy — with colored blocks and dowels, it was really cool, but, uh, well, it wasn’t much of a hit. i think it cost me a pair of diamond earrings and a night out and maybe i’m still paying for that blunder, if women never forget. :)
This only proves my theory the ladies have a perfect recall of all the bad stuff we, the males, have ever done to them or have done in general. I have already wasted 10 minutes trying to recall that bad present and it looks like I am going to quit soon.
My cousins once gave me an Advent calendar… for the current year. Wrong religion fail -plus- expired gift fail. Yay?
And yes, it only took me a couple of seconds to come up with that answer.
Oh, man. You win—so far.
I’m tough to buy gifts for, and am rarely surprised by gifts, so I tend to be very charitable towards those giving disappointing gifts, therefore, I don’t really have a “worst” gift.
It was a pair of cheap black socks from a girlfriend (back in the 70s). I gave her an engraved Khalil Gibran diary (she was into his poetry).
I was hurt but she didn’t understand why. Actually, it is my impression that men give gifts, women judge gifts.
Oh boy! My then sort of boyfriend gave me a box of tennis balls. I didn’t and don’t play tennis. They were a freebie from his frequent shopper bennies. Needless to say they were served back and the finally score wasn’t Love!