Tuesday briefs

Liar liar pants on fire: Yeah, if you believe this, please forward me your bid for the Brooklyn Bridge. It’s been in my family for decades.

Even as a top Hamas official warned Monday against Palestinian acceptance of an American “framework” peace agreement, West Bank leaders were asserting that the Islamist rulers of the Gaza Strip would in fact back a peace deal with Israel based on “national principles.”

They’re not even willing to allow Jews on the Temple Mount. Why should we believe this bullshit?

Oh, that’s rich: Mahmoud Abbas is now in the tenth year of his four-year term as president, and he wants Hamas to hold elections before they can continue unity talks. Pot, say hello to kettle, will you?

Coward speaking from undisclosed location: We’re not afraid of Israel. In his annual Groundhog’s Day speech (full credit to Lair Simon), which means six more weeks of terrorism, Chipmunk Cheeks Nasrallah announced that he is not afraid of Israel–while in hiding for fear of his life. Have a nice life, Nazzy. The one where you keep going from one hiding place to another. So glad you’re not scared. That would really suck.

More proof Hamas wants all of Israel: They insist that if NATO forces were to patrol Israel’s borders, they’d be treated just like Hamas treats Israelis. Really, they really, REALLY want the two-state solution. Just ask the Palestinian spokesliars. But don’t worry, the media will glom ont that article and ignore the ones like this.

Yeah, it’s a little late for me: My grandfather thought that my family was descended from Spanish Jews, but I have no desire whatsoever to find out and apply for Spanish citizenship. Lots of Israeli Sephardic Jews are doing just that. Whatever. I’m pretty happy with my American citizenship, thank you.