Smaller? I will show you smaller!

“You will not use this word anymore when you see the glorious wrath of the Songun science and industry that will find its apocalyptic pinnacle in my next deed, the deed that will show the whole world what a peerlessly great person I am!”

With this words the diminutive North Korean chief Kim Jong Il threw down the coffee cup and tore into pieces his copy of the Guardian where this blasphemous text has appeared:

A North Korean diplomat admitted yesterday that the country’s nuclear test was smaller than expected, as doubts were expressed in western capitals about North Korea’s claim to have successfully exploded a nuclear weapon.

“I will show you smaller!”, he shouted, spraying the table by crumbs and stormed out of his dining room.

An hour later a new decree by the Central committee of the Glorious Workers’ Party of Korea and it’s great leader Kim Jong Il eliminated the use of the words “small”, “little”, “diminutive”, “miniature”, “minuscule”, “microscopic”, “pocket-sized” and, for some unexplained reason, the word “funny”. All gestures accompanying or related to these words have been also strictly forbidden.

In related news:

Niculae Pavelescu, executive chairman of the Romanian party, in his speech said that the WPK is wisely leading the Korean people to advance invariably along the road of socialism chosen by themselves under Songun policy surely guaranteeing the sovereignty and dignity of the country despite the present complicated situation. Victory and glory are always in store for the WPK rooted deep among the masses, he stressed.

Whatever this means.

Cross-posted on SimplyJews