A reminder that I am running for Senator as a write-in candidate.
I have never used the word “macaca” in my entire life, because until I read about Allen saying it, I didn’t know it existed. The closest I ever came to it was using the word “caca” as a child, and for that, I am sincerely sorry.
I have never accused my opponent of being the antichrist of anything, as Jim Webb accused his (Jewish) primary candidate of being. I have, however, seen the original film “The Omen,” a movie about the antichrist, and for that, I am sincerely sorry. (That movie scared the bejeezus out of me. Oops. I’m sorry. I need to apologize for using that word.)
I won’t knock either candidate on their war record, because I don’t have one. I couldn’t tell you if they like cats or not. If they don’t like cats, well, that’s another reason to vote for me. I like cats and dogs, though as everyone knows, I’m partial to cats. If I am elected, though, I promise not to bring any pro-cat legislation to Congress without first balancing it with dogs. But not yip dogs. I hate yip dogs. If you can punt it, it shouldn’t be a dog.
Okay, yip dogs are cute. I take that back.
Oops. I hope that gaffe doesn’t cost me the election.
Oh! A closet puppy lover! After Michael Steele stepped out of the puppy love closet all of politics is just going to hell…
Still, I would support you even with that, as I am sure my cat Ambassador would approve. But then I am the Party of One. So you won’t get a groundswell of support…
I’m a yip dog lover, so you lost my vote. Of course I cast my vote before knowing you were running, so all your campaign promises were wasted on me anyway.
You may be Jewish, but do you play football? Didn’t think so.
No votes for you, missy. ;)
I’m in Jim Moran’s district, so you should get at least one vote for the House. I haven’t voted against him since I lived here in the early 90s. I’m all excited.
But, Bitter, I apologized! A real apology, not an “I’m sorry if your feelings were hurt, but…” apology!
A closet puppy lover!
Have you ever sent email to a puppy?
I’m a Yip dog hater like you, if you can punt it, its not a dog.
And unlike Bitter, I haven’t voted yet . . . so don’t squander the good will you won with this voter to try an appease someone who will never be voting for you.
Councilman Michael Berry recently expressed his dislike of cats and cat people in Houston.
And here I was, starting to like that right-wing nutjob.
Angie: I have never sent email to a puppy. However, I have sent puppy cards to my sister-in-law for her birthday. And a puppy photo or two has appeared on this weblog.
Countertop: Thank you for the valuable politics lesson. What do you think of my creating a committee to discover the effect of yip dogs on American family life?
The boys want to know when your campaign ads will start to air. They are very excited that their Aunt Meryl is running.
Are you aware that the man who puts puppies in blenders has linked to your post, thus implying an endorsement?
Taurus, of course. I
beggedasked politely several times for a link.You are neither Allen or Webb, and that’s all the qualifications I need. You have my vote.
The real question, Meryl, is how far you can punt the yip dog. For, it appears, the other two candidates punted this campaign long ago.
Good luck with the campaign.
Does a Wheaten qualify as a yip dog, or is it too big? What about punting cats as a sport? They probably wouldn’t go as far as a dog of same weight because cats have a higher percentage of soft tissue to bone. One advantage to cat punting is that the cat lands on all fours and doesn’t come back. Lastly, if the cat is hors d’combat, it can be braised in wine sauce for several hours, while a dog would have to be boiled into soup.
Ciao now meow momma,
chsw
Jim, I can’t answer that question, because I have never actually punted a yip dog. I admit to having wanted to punt them, especially the teacup Chihuahua that had hold of my pants leg, but I have always refrained due to my general refusal to, well, hurt an animal.
I have, however, physically punted a football at various times in my life, and would do so again if my constituents wish. Not saying I’m any good at it, but yes, ronbo, I have played football. Tackle, in fact, until I was about twelve years old. After that my father forbade me. I was hurt and puzzled.
Yes, I was that naive at twelve.
Is football (pigskin) antithesis if you’re jewish? :)
I’ve often wanted to punt yip dogs, some
were my own. But so far I have refrained.
I absolutely refuse to apologize!
What about punting yip cats? Especially
when they’ve deliberately trapped themselves on the roof of the house, or
in a tree?
If I were a Lover State resident you would have my vote.
Sincerely.
I cannot support any candidate who would post unclothed photographs of underage canines.
What is America coming to?
Oh, Meryl, why didn’t I know this sooner? I could’ve been campaigning for you! Plus, you’d get two votes from my cats (hey, if the Dems can vote from the grave, my LIVING purrs can express their choice, too!)
Damn, this is tempting…!
— Kat
http://www.CatHouseChat.com
I’m sorely tempted to write you in for congress, Meryl, even though I live in Michigan. That’s because John Conyers is my representative–“my” being used advisedly, here–and I’d vote for pretty much anyone over him.
Not that it makes a difference, of course.
OK. I’m a Virginian. You’ve got my vote.
I’m a Texan but I have relatives in Virginia who I’m sure I can get to vote for one. Well, one or two of them, anyway. Good luck!
I’ve endorsed you for Congress. I’ll tell all my in-laws to write your name in on their ballots!
Let’s get you enough write-in votes to get reported on WWBT-12. Now THAT would be entertainment.
Finally! A choice between Allen/Webb. I’m in Virginia and you have my vote as well.
Urk… I meant choice other than. Got so excited at an alternative I didn’t preview what I wrote.
Ha. Well, I live in Honolulu…think you got problems? And I am a cat lover, and yip dog hater(well, disliker anyway). Can’t have either, so you would have my vote but alas, I will vote here and it will disappear into the cybersphere of zillions of Democrats.
Dave (who is trapped in the land of Demos)
Hey, I’m just hoping for triple digits.
I’ll sure be checking the election site in a few weeks.
Questions for candidate Meryl:
Do you have Jewish relatives, and if so can you reassure us by telling us your porkchop recipe?
When you say you’re a closet dog lover, just why do you love the dog in the closet, and would you love him just as much in public?
Have you ever read a book that had a dirty word in it? and are you willing to apologize for this?
Unless you mess up the answers, you’ve got my vote…
Doc: 1. A) Yes and B) I don’t have a porkchop recipe, as I don’t eat pork.
2. I didn’t say I was a closet dog lover, one of my commenters did. When I left for work this morning, however, Tig was in my closet and will probably not come out until I come home. He likes to sleep on the shelf. I’m all for cats being in and out of closets.
3. A)Yes. B) Hell, no.
Good luck hope you get enough to show up in the results.