Author Archives: Laurence Simon

About Laurence Simon

I'm a thirty-something dataschmuck in Houston, TX. I spend my free time grilling, baking, playing with cats, and trying to invent the Tequila Sunset.

Remember this when it’s time for Emile Lahoud’s war crimes tribunal

President Emile Lahoud, a bought-and-paid-for tool of Syria, whines: Meanwhile, Lebanese President Emile Lahoud, a pro-Syrian close ally of Hizbullah, said that Israel’s bloody assault could push desperate Lebanese citizens to sacrifice their lives to defend their country – and … Continue reading

Posted in Israel | 7 Comments

The Butcher of Beslan has been blown away, but…

Russia finally wiped out the Butcher of Beslan: FSB chief Nikolai Patrushev said Basayev, who claimed responsibility for the 2004 Beslan school attack in which 331 people, half of them children, were killed, was planning an attack to coincide with … Continue reading

Posted in Israeli Double Standard Time | 4 Comments

Shroedinger’s Martyr

Ha’aretz says Zakaria Zubeidi escaped the IDF when they surrounded his tent. Jerusalem Post says Al-Arabiyya Television has reported him as killed. So, like, does he get 36 virgins in Limbo?

Posted in Terrorism | 6 Comments

What in tarnation? Dang it, now they’ve done something to get them Muslimfolk mad.

Look what was dragged out of the Palestinian Authority Interior Ministry building after the airstrike: Burnt Korans! Oh no! The awfulness of this conflict! Never mind the fact that no bodies were dragged out of it, since the airstrike was … Continue reading

Posted in Israel | 2 Comments

The real reason for the condemnation

The Russians have condemned the Israeli buzzing and sonic-booming of Bashar Assad’s palace: Russian Foreign Ministry spokesman Mikhail Kamynin criticized Israel on Thursday for sending warplanes to buzz one of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad palaces early Wednesday. In a predawn … Continue reading

Posted in Israel | 1 Comment

Montenegro

The United Nations has a new member, and it’s not some cesspool of terrorism using a batch of Jordanian flags they forgot to put the star on: The UN General Assembly unanimously approved a resolution Wednesday admitting the newly independent … Continue reading

Posted in Miscellaneous | 4 Comments

After so many years, can it finally be true?

After so many years of Muslim, Islamic, and Eunuch apathy and interference, the impossible may finally be happening… The Red Cross humanitarian movement overcame Muslim objections and cleared away the last obstacle to full Israeli membership early Thursday, setting up … Continue reading

Posted in Israel | 3 Comments

Cheap joke

Anyone want to bet that the bailiff in this case said “Well, I guess he isn’t in the front row, Bob!” ?

Posted in Humor, Pop Culture | 1 Comment

The ICRC continues its shameful legacy

Well, it looks like anti-Semitism rages on at the ICRC as Muslim countries are effectively stonewalling any discussion of adoption of the new symbol: An attempt to end Israel’s long isolation from the Red Cross humanitarian movement hit a snag … Continue reading

Posted in Anti-Semitism, Israeli Double Standard Time | 1 Comment

The end of anti-Semitism at the ICRC?

The ICRC is set to vote on the approval of a “Red Crystal” emblem, which would then be followed by a vote on the elevation of the Magen David Adom to full membership: Israel is set to join the Red … Continue reading

Posted in Anti-Semitism, Israel, Israeli Double Standard Time | 3 Comments

EUseless

So, how’s the EU’s participation in the Rafah crossing agreement holding up? The team of international monitors at the Rafah crossing threatened on Thursday to leave, since Hamas ministers were allowed to pass freely through the crossing while carrying millions … Continue reading

Posted in Israel | 1 Comment

… and they’re all out of Kosher bubble gum!

Since the French Police tend to focus on taking sloppy notes after Jews are attacked and filing them away in dusty cabinets for statisticians to pore over now and then instead of actively working to prevent such anti-Semitic violence, French … Continue reading

Posted in Israel | 10 Comments

Oh, really?

Hamas really knows how to unload gut-busters, don’t they? Here’s the latest rib-tickler from their spokesman, seeking to crack up the world press: Ghazi Hamad, spokesman for the Hamas government, said that Israel was trying to engineer a whitewash. “Israel … Continue reading

Posted in Hamas, Israeli Double Standard Time, Terrorism | 2 Comments

Cutting out the middle man…

The IDF pops an Islamic Jihad crew driving around with Katushyas: Israel will no longer exhibit restraint toward Palestinian terrorists involved in anti-Israel operations, Defense Minister Amir Peretz said Tuesday following an Israeli air strike in Gaza that targeted a … Continue reading

Posted in Terrorism | 4 Comments

We don’t need no water…

Just to prove that there are options other than bullets and ballot boxes, Fateh loyalists have set fire to a Cabinet building in the Parliament complex of Ramallah. Hundreds Palestinian security forces loyal to President Mahmoud Abbas went on a … Continue reading

Posted in palestinian politics | 5 Comments